Nobody has the same story so don’t compare your life with other’s.
Disclaimer alert – I am not yet in my thirties. However, I do have a lot of friends who have reached this ‘milestone’ and additionally, see many clients in their thirties and above.
A recurring theme I have noticed with most of these people (as well as myself and my friends who have thirty ‘looming’ in the horizon) is that, come thirty, we put this immense pressure on ourselves to have our lives sorted.
Surely in our thirties we should be married with kids (or on the way there), we should be working our dream jobs with amazing careers, we should own a home, and have travelled the world…I could go on, but to be honest it exhausts me.
All of these ‘shoulda’ – as if life is a series of tick boxes.
The truth of the matter is, once you hit thirty, you DON’T have to have life figured out. In fact, I see clients well into their sixties who don’t have all the answers – and this is NORMAL.
It is part of life. And yet, for some reason we are so hard on ourselves when we haven’t achieved a certain amount of “things” by the time we reach an age milestone. Let’s flip our thoughts shall we.
What really matters to you?
Really – what are your key values? What makes you happy and lights you up? Often, we get so caught up in a life we think we ‘should’ be living, that we lose sight of what is actually important to us.
For some, this may be health and vitality. For others, maybe it is family and time spent with loved ones.
Recalibrating what ACTUALLY matters to you, and then positioning your energy on THESE things is an incredible way to start shifting the way you see your life.
Don’t know where to start? Sessions with your own coach (like me) can help you start to crystallise the important things in your life that you may currently be overlooking.
Rather than focusing on what you DON’T have, or haven’t achieved, start to look at all the things you DO have, and all of your life achievements. Go on, take out a notebook or the notes in your phone and start a list.
What are the things you are most proud of in your life right now? What makes you happy? What have been the happiest moments of your life? Notice that these have NOTHING to do with your age?
Try to practice gratitude every day – focus on three things you are most grateful for in your life – they could be people, moments or things. The more you reflect on the good, the more good you will notice you have in your life. Now THAT is something to be proud of.
Treat yourself with love
I go on and on about self love, because it is so damn important to live a happy and guilt-free life. When was the last time you booked yourself in for a massage or facial ‘just because’? Or run yourself a hot bath with candles?
We are constantly putting off looking after ourselves because indulging in pampering can be seen as selfish. To that I say, screw it! Take out your calendar and book something in that makes you feel good – right now.
Regardless of whether we are twenty, thirty or eighty, we deserve to feel loved, special and pampered – and these are all within our own control. I have written a blog in the past about self love, read HERE
What do you think the best thing is about being in your thirties?