Change is a constant in life.
Weather we like it or not, everything has its season – literally, and figuratively.
Summer gives way to Winter. Friendships come and go. Relationships flourish and fall apart. You move away from your family home, or leave your first ever job, or swap degrees.
We age. Our bodies change, our face changes, life changes. It’s Yin and Yang. Balance. You cannot have a rainbow without the rain.
Many people struggle with change – a lot of the time because it is usually something we have no control over.
This can be hard – as we are conditioned to think we should have a solution for everything. A lot of us thrive on control – so when that is taken away from us, we suffer. How can we fix this? Can’t things just go back to the way they used to be?
When we learn to embrace change – no matter how challenging it may be – we flow with life, and things become a lot easier. Lighter, even. That is not to say all change will be easy: there will be moments where life throws you for a six and you can barely keep up. But being able to relax into the change can do far more good than harm.
As the cooler weather arrives on our doorstep, symbolising a change in weather, here are some simple ways to embrace life changes as they may arise for you:
It is time to release expectations. And that goes for pretty much all areas of your life. Hear me out – when we expect something to go a certain way (like getting that promotion, or buying our dream home, for example) we can feel extremely disappointed when things don’t go according to plan.
I teach my clients all the time to start to notice expectations as they pop up in relationships – do you expect people in your life to behave a certain way? And when they don’t, do you get disappointed?
Same goes for life in general – of course, work towards your dreams, set goals and visualise. But don’t place value on whether you actually get there or not – this expectation can ruin what is an amazing journey, regardless of the end goal or not. Release expectations and watch you flow with life as it grows and changes.
Breathe through it
Some life changes can be challenging. A relationship ending. Losing a job. A loved one getting sick. In times like these, remember that this too shall pass.
Remember that everything that has ever happened to you in your life, regardless of the good or bad, has lead you here. You have survived it. And probably learned a lot along the way.
When change arises that leaves you feeling uncomfortable, breathe through it. Pause and connect with your breath. This will bring you back to the present moment, where change does not exist.
Read about the healing art of yoga here
Be honest with how you are feeling
Change can be exciting and fun – like moving to a new city, starting a new relationship or packing your bags and travelling the world. It can also feel overwhelming, especially when you really feel that nothing is in your control.
When intense emotions arise, sit with them. Too often we try to run from feelings like anger or stress or overwhelm, when in fact suppressing these emotions do more harm than good. Be honest with how the change is impacting you.
Write about it in your journal, to get out of your head. Talk to a friend or mentor about it. Scream into a pillow, go for a big walk, or practice anything that helps emotion move through you.
Read our simple tips on managing your anxiety here
Remember everything happens for a reason
Think about a time in your life where change happened. Reflect on how you got through it. Chances are you didn’t see it at the time, but it lead to something far better or a real lesson learned. When I was made redundant from my corporate role, I felt lost and unsure of what was next.
The change was dramatic, quick and scary. On reflection though, it lead me to my dream job, being able to help hundreds of people around the world on their own self love journeys and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Everything truly happens for a reason. Remind yourself this when change next rears its head in your life.
Read our self-love blog here
What is a recent life change that has happened in your life, and how did you deal with it?