Flow is a state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in an activity.
There’s this thing we learned in positive psychology called ‘state of flow’. Basically, what it means is that, in order to be living a truly positive and happy life, we must be engaging in activities that provide us with some level of ‘flow’.
When you are in ‘flow’ the following things happen:
- You lose track of time because you are so caught up in what you are doing
- There is an element of difficulty or challenge to the activity requiring you to really focus on the task at hand
- You love what you are doing so much and get pure joy from the activity that you could do it for hours and not even notice
The documentary Happy on Netflix touches on this too, and it is something I teach all my clients. For us to truly put ourselves first, we need to be engaging in activities that really bring us joy.
State of flow activities are some of these things. They could include surfing, golf, video games (sorry ladies), cooking, meditating, writing, reading, craft, puzzles, photography, board games, yoga, hiking, even team sports!
The aim is to get you into that ‘flow’ state as often as possible – daily is ideal. Are you currently engaging in any state of flow activities in your life? You may be and not even realise you are doing it!
Or maybe you have had a bit of a wake up call that it is time to engage more in activities for you.
That is okay – it happens as we grow up. When we were children our parents would enroll us into all sorts of flow activities and after school hobbies, like dance and sport and art. And a little part of us forgets this as we get older, and parties and our social life take priority.
Engaging in flow activities and things that truly light you up is part of reclaiming that youth that you may have lost.
What is great about these things is, while yes you can absolutely do them alone (and for some of you that would be ideal) – you can also use this as a time to meet new people with similar interests.
Join a book club, head to a workshop or look up a local women’s circle. If part of your people pleasing tendencies has lead you to toxic friendships that you are finding difficult to release – start spending your time with new people who have something in common with you.
The more of your ‘soul tribe’ you actively call in (by putting yourself out there and engaging in activities that light you up) then your older, more toxic friendships will naturally disintegrate. Consider it like nature – everything has its season.
The beautiful tree in your garden turns brown and drops its leaves to make way for new green foliage. Just like you – dropping the things that no longer light you up and bring you joy – to make way for the things, and the people, that do!
Another cool part of engaging in state of flow activities like the above, is that you can also incorporate it as a social catch up (if you want to) – two birds, one stone. Maybe you and your bestie commit to a weekly yoga class, or you and your work colleague go to a meditation seminar at lunch. So you are doing something for yourself, while also spending time with a loved one!
I know there is nothing more that people pleasers like than productivity, so this is me trying to help you guys out. But remember – if you would PREFER your state of flow activities to be on your own, then so be it.
Excellent. This is for you to do whatever makes YOU feel good.
This blog post is an extract from our wellness expert’s ebook The People Pleaser’s Guide To Putting Yourself First.
If you would like to go on the waitlist to be the first to know when the ebook is released, contact Hollie Azzopardi: [email protected]