As humans, we are conditioned to respond to most things in our life from a place of fear.
While yes, this is helpful in times when our lives are genuinely in danger, for the most part, fear does not serve us in living a holistically ‘well’ life.
Fear can be referred to as your ego, or the voice in your head telling you stories that are not necessarily true.
You know the thoughts:
I’m not good enough
I’m not pretty enough
I’ll never get that job
No one will ever love me
Why do I even try?
I say the dumbest things
When we tell ourselves something enough over time, we believe it. Because words are energy – in fact, the words we think and the words we speak are some of the highest vibrational energies we can emit. And what we know about energy is – what we emit, we attract.
So when we come from a place of constant fear – guess what – we will continue to feel fearful, and believe the fear-based stories we tell ourselves.
We do not serve anyone when living from a place of fear. ‘Playing small’ or dimming our light, especially with tall poppy syndrome a real issue in Australia – is not the ‘modest’ or humble thing to do. In fact, when we dull our shine we prevent ourselves from living our best, happiest and healthiest lives.
In turn, this means we are not able to inspire, uplift or be our best, most loving selves to anyone else in our lives – be it our partner, family, children or besties.
Fear is not your friend. But it will become very convincing. Because fear wants to keep you safe. And if you ARE in a life or death situation, then absolutely fear is worth listening to. The issue is when fear prevents you from living your BEST life – when it holds you back from pursuing a career that will truly light you up, or diving headfirst into a relationship with the person you love even though fear tells you they may leave you.
So how can you conquer fear once and for all?
Make friends with your fear voice
Start paying attention to the fear-based voice in your head. What are the stories you are telling yourself each day that come from a place of fear? If it helps, keep a list for a day of every single thing you worry about or second-guess yourself.
Where are you telling yourself you aren’t enough?
Start catching yourself in these stories, and acknowledge them. Say to your fear voice: “I hear you, I see you, and I know you are just trying to protect me. But I am going to ignore you right now because you are not in my best interests.”
The more you catch yourself in your fear-based internal chatter, the easier it will be to switch the story around. Because that is all it is – a story.
Start a journalling practice
Get out of your head and onto the page. Journalling is one of the best ways to alleviate fear based thoughts, and reflect on the underlying challenges your fear is trying to tell you.
Start to write when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or too up in your head. What are you worried about? What would you do RIGHT NOW if fear did not exist?
Reflect on where fear is holding you back in your life and acknowledge how this is not serving you. Then write down ways to change your behaviour to a place of LOVE.
Repeat LOVE based affirmations
If you haven’t already, watch the YouTube video: “The Water Experiment”. This scientific experiment shows the profound impact the words we speak have on our energy.
The more we repeat or speak fear based thoughts, the more likely our life be fuelled by fear, attracting the same low vibrational experiences that we are emitting.
Affirmation work is the simplest way to switch your internal dialogue from fear to love. What is your fear story telling you – that you aren’t smart enough? Pretty enough? Good enough?
Notice what your key story is, and flip it.
For instance, if the story you are telling yourself is: I will never find love, I am unlovable” switch it to: I attract love in all forms. I am so worthy of love.
While you won’t believe it at first, the more you repeat this story to yourself overtime, the more you will attract the story.
And who doesn’t want more love in their life?
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude
An extension of affirmation work, and repeating words that vibrate at a higher level than fear, is gratitude work. Start to acknowledge three things each day you are grateful for. Write them in your journal or share them with a friend.
The science behind gratitude is this: you cannot be anxious or angry and grateful at the same time. Your brain is not wired that way. So by having a daily gratitude practice, you are literally re-wiring your brain to see the good in each day. It is THAT simple.
Time to quieten down those racing thoughts – as they truly do not serve us. The key to living from a place of love is presence – rather than thinking about the past or dreaming about the future, the power is in this moment, right now.
Meditation teaches us to acknowledge our thoughts and watch them come and go, but focus on the present moment. It is not about having zero thoughts at all – even the most advanced meditators do not have this – but finding the space in BETWEEN thoughts where just the present moment exists. Because in the present moment, there is never fear.
Download the apps Insight Timer or Headspace and start with 5 minutes a day. Watch how your mind clears in as little as a week.
There are a multitude of books available on the subject of living from a place of LOVE over a place of fear…here are just a few my absolute favourites:
Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini
You Are Enough by Cassie Mendoza-Jones
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
7 Days to Self Love by yours truly! (Download your copy for free at hollieazzopardi.com)
Check out our blog on all things yes here.