Pay attention to how you speak about yourself it carries more weight than you imagine.
In my albeit relatively short time as a wellness coach, I have lost count of the number of women who sit opposite me and tear their appearance to shreds.
I need to lose weight
My thighs are too big
I hate my smile
My skin is gross
I don’t like my feet
I wish my hair was different
I’m so pale
I could go on an on.
Beautiful, gentle, kind and loving women who are constantly looking at themselves in the mirror and tearing their appearance to shreds.
Thinking that if only they LOOKED differently, then life would be better.
We do it to ourselves.
If I lose those 5 kilos, I will be happier
If my face looked different, I would feel more confident about myself
Constantly putting goal posts in place related to our appearance. When we LOOK a certain way, we will FEEL a certain way.
I’m sorry to break it to you my loves, but this actually isn’t how it works.
If you are looking at yourself in the mirror and berating your appearance, there are far deeper issues to be worked on at an emotional level.
WHY do you think weighing less equates to happiness? Is it a story you are telling yourself around being ‘overweight’ and what that might mean to you?
Feeling unloveable, worthless or just not good enough?
These feelings will not go away regardless of the changes you make to your appearance. The REAL work that needs to be done here is the soul work.
And take it from a girl who has been there, done that. A few years ago I signed up for one of those 12 week body challenges.
I weighed less than I ever have, had the abs and thigh gap and the low body fat percentage. And I also had more severe anxiety than ever before, my health dropped significantly as I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and leaky gut and I was SO unhappy.
Flash forward to now, where I am the heaviest I have ever weighed – and I couldn’t be happier OR healthier. So what changed?
So HOW do you start looking in the mirror and loving what you see REGARDLESS of where you are at physically?
Catch your stories
Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, pay attention to the thoughts running through your head. What are you telling yourself? How are you talking about yourself? Would you let your bestie talk that way about herself?
This is about awareness, and is really the first step in any significant change. The more you can catch yourself talking poorly about your appearance, the more likely you can also CHANGE that dialogue – which is the goal.
Change them up
Once you start becoming super aware of your negative stories, start to change them up.
If you are telling yourself you are fat, change it to – I am healthy, strong and vibrant. If you are bemoaning your skin or face, repeat something about yourself that you love – maybe it’s your hair, or your kindness or your determination (remember it doesn’t have to be about looks!)
Own your insecurities
Start to keep a journal on your beliefs around your physical appearance – what were you taught about ‘looks’ growing up? Where is your appearance holding you back? What would you be doing differently if you loved yourself fully?
Enlist someone to help you
Self-love, body love and loving your whole self – cellulite and wrinkles and all – is not often a journey you can conquer alone.
There is a myriad of self-love gurus available online, in the Personal Development section in Dymocks or even sessions with Wellness Coaches, like me. Don’t feel like you have to forge this path to self-love alone.
Read our blog on self-love here
And remember – you are so worthy of your own love. One day you will look in the mirror and smile as you embrace yourself for WHO you are. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.