Critical: Don’t be the judge or jury

The judgement card in the Tarot deck can intimidate some people.

Simply the word ‘judgement’ itself implies negative connotations – because when we are judged, we are often being criticised, no? When someone judges you, they are focusing on what you should change.

Likewise, when we pass judgment on someone else, we are often criticising the person they are and the decisions they are making.

However, the judgement card in Tarot isn’t about this. In fact, you should be EXCITED if this card is pulled for you. It is all about changes – periods of reflection in your life, and starting new chapters. Questioning what is working, what isn’t and growing from there.

As humans, we are conditioned to think hyper-critically. It is a residual effect of our fight or flight instinct – to be driven by fear, which in turn, means we often see the world through negative lenses.

However, the more judgement we pass on others, and ourselves, the more likely we will continue to open our minds to criticise things rather than acknowledging the GOOD people are doing in the world.
As a coach, my eyes have been opened to the intricacies of human nature. I am not allowed to judge in my role. In fact, I tell my clients, there is a zero judgement policy. Clients can come to me with

WHATEVER is happening in their life, and know they are in a completely safe space. So whether they are battling an eating disorder, fighting with their parents over money, or even have had an affair, they know they can work through these things with me without so much as batting an eyelid. We are human. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.

Here’s the thing. We are our own harshest critics. When we do something ‘wrong’, betray our own moral compass or just behave differently to how we would normally like to, we will beat ourselves up for it far more than anyone else in our lives could – stranger or not.

What matters is how we work THROUGH this behaviour and take it as a lesson to better ourselves and our lives.
Rather than casting judgement on a friend who is considering rekindling with her ex after he treated her poorly, try giving her love instead.

Know that in reality, the only person’s actions we can control are that of ourselves. Tell them how you feel, but finish with – no matter what you decide, I am here for you.

Read our tips on support and boundaries here.

Similarly, if you have someone in your life making what you would consider a poor decision – by all means offer advice. But if they don’t want to hear it, respect that. Allow them to live the life of their choosing – and hold the space for them to vent and talk and cry and come to the decision themselves.

Judging actually doesn’t help anyone – especially the person DOING the judging. Often when we are triggered by the behaviour in someone else, it is pointing to a deeper underlying issue within ourselves.

Read our blog on flick negativity here.

Catch yourself the next time you are passing judgement on somebody – what is that judgement saying about you and your values?

What is the lesson for you here?

And how can you flip the judgement to a more loving position of support and care?

Make an appointment with our wellness expert:
Bondi Beach: 02 8897 0077
Email: [email protected]

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